The Identity Crisis Period III
Now to vent my feelings against the know-it-all friend of mine…
Are you ready?
I call her, the homewrecker.
If you think that I didn’t call her “Ate” (term used to refer to an older sister, like onee-chan [Oh-NEH-chan] in Japanese), she just got full of herself. She even told me, “Will you please call me Ate?” in some sorta bitchy way. (Do you think I won’t forget things? I have fucking sharp memory, know-it-alls!) Like, come on. Nasanay ka namang ‘di kita natawag na ate bago mo pa sinabi sa’kin ‘yan, ‘di ba? Ang O.A. mo. (You’re used not to be called, “Ate” right? You are so overacting.)
So, yeah. She triggered that stage, thinking that I’m inferior.
Wala, eh. She thinks she’s the center of all things, but truth is, she’s at the atmosphere and not in the Earth’s core! She thinks she’s one of the best people. The Critic told me that she might have a past experience which made her act like a know-it-all.
I’m not putting her down or so. I am just telling the truth. So, please, gimme a chance to vent things out, ok?
So, yeah. It was time for me to “cut” that relationship that lasted for I think, two years.
She tolerated and agreed with the wrongdoings of those people against me, which is actually “right” for her. The “violent reaction” letters most of my classmates gave to me, are actually part of who I was before– an introvert. So, everyone started to be an asshole to me is because… I rejected their help before, or how they really keep in touch with me. So, there. It’s like me saying, “GTFO! Ako na bahala dito, ha?”
That’s what they’re thinking. If then, they were nice people. But now, they might have been thinking that I was desperate about that guy (yep, that ex-crush, actually– this would be the last time I’ll talk about my personal life, okay? I promise) so yeah, they rejected me back.
Those are FIVE hurtful letters, but the homewrecker was so happy that she agreed to make me feel bad about myself. She said, “It’s for your own good.” Jusme. Mura ka pa ng mura, pa-advice advice ka pang nalalaman d’yan, pero ‘yung mga gumagawa ng mali sa’kin, kinokonsinti mo? Walang hiya ka talaga, ah. Akala mo kung sinong marunong, eh feeler naman.
Sorry if I am not speaking straight English anymore. If only I could speak straight Tagalog here, I could only speak it through word of mouth.
She loves the former second home (aka my HS)
She loves it, but I don’t. She once said that she wanted to stay there forever… but in my case? I wanted to get out of hell, seriously.
Alright. I have no grudges against that, but look. The HS admin seems so unfair. She gets all the best things in life there, but I don’t. She gets the best and down-to-earth teachers, but I don’t. I might as well raise my middle finger loud and proud right in front of the admin if ever I would be given a chance to have a fearless forecast. Lastly, she gets the BEST fourth year section, while I got the worst. Bullshit, admin! Excommunicate me from your list if you want! That would only mean that only one good student of yours is now criticizing your evil acts of greed.
Now why am I venting this? I want to teach those people a fucking good lesson. I don’t actually wanted to talk about this, but a blogger who inspired me to be confident as a blogger encouraged me to be brave, even online! To be honest, I don’t want to swear in this blog, but swearing is normal. It’s fucking normal.
She loves our own former second home is because all the best things were given to her. But for me, I won’t go back there to say hello to where I “lived” before. I would say, “Hello, shanty.”
I don’t want to talk about my personal life here
I never ever talked about my personal life here, about family matters and shiz? It’s always private. It doesn’t go somewhere else. However, my life during HS is also like my personal life there. I just wanted to let things out for the first time here in this blog. I’m not sure if this would be the last.
The reason why most people think I do not act normal in school is because of the identity crisis that I’m experiencing. It’s all thanks to her that I do not really know what to do, her high expectations, etc.
I do not reveal my real name here is because, I just want everyone to guess, or to research. Yes, I may allow stalking here in this site, but you really have to research me. 😀
Misconceptions about others, why I love my new second home more
One jealous hater called me “arrogant” since I feel so ashamed about my former second home. Did you ever had some fucking research?
First of all, I love my new second home is because, it is big. It may seem to be a “small world after all,” but come to think of it, it’s like the Internet! You communicate to everyone, the environment is an A+, stalkers would hardly find you and most of all, it’s safe.
Second, I didn’t actually like my former second home is because, it’s too small, you can’t go to some buildings, etc. I didn’t like how we were governed.
I learn a lot more things in my NSH. Everyone’s more approachable compared to my FSH which has a lot of fake people. You really do not know whom to trust, so yeah.
My NSH is like a real home to me. It’s like I do not want to go back home since it was like a dream come true. After all, you’ll meet a lot of new people who are more interesting.
If the HS admin is really proud to have me as my student then, why did they ever give the best things in life to the homewrecker, right? In my new second home, everyone’s given an opportunity, and there is no ranking status (like you’re the highest, lowest).
My FSH usually gives the best opportunities to honor students. I find it unfair and unjust.
How would they ever coin the term of a “leader” if they do not even show a good example?
The homewrecker’s happiness by sadism
She was a true falsely far-right sadist.
Moody? Yes. Rude? Sorta.
If she is really a nationalist, will you still consider her one if she views our people as “stupid”? I know the flaws of the society, and I openly admit it here. However, in her case, she wants the society to be the same. She wants to be the center of her mind, thus letting her do crab mentality.
The usual topic in high school
Everyone talks about identity crisis. Most people are really proud to be narcissists, while the others think that they’re still not in the mood to be there.
I was that person.
Ehem. Do you think my clubmates are not considered as my “friends”? Why would you know-it-alls force me to make friends with those who are your type? Why would you ever force me to fit in the popular kids? It’s not a good idea at all. You know-it-alls think that my friends are usually my clubmates is because… you think it’s a requirement to get along with them. Hello? Napalapit lang ako sa kanila, kaya ganun. And everything is always fine with respect. Do you see that usual thing in the popular kids? Halos lahat naman kapag popular kids ang nagiging class officer, ‘yun pa naman ang magulo. Try to reflect: Do you love those type of people, plastics, hypocrites, backbiters? Do you idolize those who do vices?
I really couldn’t think of a second thought. I don’t feel happy when talking about these things.
But, I should tell everything that I want to tell, is because I want everyone to know who I was during high school.
To those who disliked and ridiculed me even in college, this is for you. Now you know the type of person I am. Sadista. I ain’t the type of person you wouldn’t want to mess up with. Don’t ever tell me you didn’t experience identity crisis. Siguro naman sinuwerte lang kayo kaya ganun. I hope you understand why I didn’t really get along with some of you. But to those who tried to understand my condition, thanks. I won’t take you for granted anymore. May gift kayo sa’kin sa Christmas. Joke lang.
So, yeah. Thanks for softening my heart when I think of you guys. Promise, I am not really hard to please, unless you follow the footsteps of whom I mentioned here.
To those who inspired me to blog, vent, shiz…
Thanks for inspiring me. Actually, I love the way you bring a lot of charisma to everyone.
Wait a minute…
Little is known about the other blog, that is
My blog entries at that blog are too short, and I usually talk about the most famous people at school (because that time, those who were our seniors at that school are actually… they should be viewed as role models. But, but… there’s still a problem. Actually in my new second home, upperclassmen become your classmates, and that’s a fact. I feel so old or young, but I think there’s equality.
You can read nothing but nonsense posts.
If the homewrecker said that I should accept criticisms, what I thought was, “Even rude comments should be considered as criticisms?” Gah. Maybe she should be the one. I don’t want to explain this since I mentioned everything already.
I may have been lambasted since I blog about other people and bad things.
EHEM. Did you remember about the admin’s threat to check the other online accounts of students, eh? It’s really stupid since they censor everything yet they still threaten us about our accounts regarding criticisms against the school.
Who was the homewrecker, anyway?